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In Illinois, there is a history of certain people “earning” the coveted “John L Award” that is bestowed by J Les Maierhofer. See the 2010 award below.
John L Award 2010
Letter dated February 16, 2010
Dear John L.
I am completely devastated today. You see-my family, my fellow co-workers, my community, my Employee Organization, and I all suffered a major loss as a result of a house fire in my home town. Fortunately no pets were destroyed, no firemen were injured, but there was the loss of a permanent fixture in my life.
After fighting the fire most of the night and upon returning home I discovered that my cell phone was missing. I did go back to the scene and was able to find it. But its life was taken prematurely when I discovered that one of the trucks had run it over.
I am writing to you not really for advice but merely for consolation. I do “feel rather lost without my phone”.
Sincerely,
“Inspector Gadget” as the ex-Iowa Association President Steve Kennedy calls me. Illinoisans’ know me as Randy Tillman, CED, from Effingham County.
Dear Mr. Tillman,
Let me first ask, why in the world do you want to work for FSA? With your love of electronics, I would think you could invent a machine that could detect if the last person near the “pot” was male or female and adjust the seat accordingly. I would think you could invent a machine that could detect if your spouse was going to get one of those types of “headaches”. I would think you could invent a machine that would make eyeglasses with wiper blades.
I personally have spread my talents to inventing the disaster-proof cell phone. It is animal –proof, kid-proof, and fire-truck proof. Please come forward to accept the 2010 John L Award.
Randy came forward and was instructed to give me his phone in exchange for the John L cell phone. A demonstration was given on how to use the new cell phone. When dialing his phone number, certain keys on the John L keypad squirted water on Randy’s kisser. Other keys on the pad squirt water through the antennae.
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